Daisy, Daisy, Keep in Your Pasture, Do!


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It’s been a rough couple months. Lots of shit going down. Lots of mini “oh my gawd, what the hell am I doing?” going down.


Blue walls in A’s room.


Goldeny paint color for the house


Laminate wood floors finally installed! Oh and gratuitous man ogling available. He has power tools, ladies!!

Our gate is installed!

Our gate is installed!

Anyways, we have been fully moved in for over a month and a half. Things keep going awry and we still have lots to do….And I’m new at this…..And I’m a procrastinator….you can imagine that this is not the best of combinations, right? And we’ve been having a ton of water problems . *sigh*

But our cows are home (well new home). They spent the summer at a friend’s farm so we could knock them up. We have 2 miniature jerseys. Elsie and Daisy are little hellions. Escape artists….bullies….I love them with one breath and then curse them with the other. Elsie ATTACKED A and me when we were in the pasture checking fencing. I THINK she was trying to play with A but didn’t realize she could kill a 7 year old girl with her force. It took a half hour to get out of the situation. Thank Krakken I had my walking stick with us. That’s how I kept her away from A. Elsie battered my body though. The next day I felt like I had been run over by a car, not just a cow. I almost made her into hamburger at that point but I knew my mother would kill me. Now we don’t enter the pasture without our spray bottles and walking sticks. They hate water sprayed on them! Oh and Daisy has escaped 2x in the past couple days. No idea how. We come home from work and she’s just casually chewing grass in the front yard and gives us the run of our lives trying to get her back in the pasture.


The 3 female goats that are supposedly pregnant? We were told one would give birth around the beginning of November but nope. NO KIDS yet. This is upsetting. But the goats are adorable, ornery, and kinda wiggle their way into your heart.

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We are loving our horses! Becoming quite attached. Ginger loves goldfish crackers. Thunderbolt is really affectionate.


Ride’em cowgirl!

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I’m becoming such an outdoorsy gal! Okay, not really….I do it because I have to. Haha!


Oh my. I’m so sexy with sharp implements…

We have been having mice problems….I HATE MICE. Soooo imagine my happiness when my daughter’s cat Teesha caught a mouse in the house. (Lots of rhyming…I’m at Dr Seuss proportions of giddiness) I knew she was good for something!

Who's da purty kitty? You are! You are!

Who’s the most beautiful Mickey Murderer in the world….You are! You are!

Ugh I’m a little fatigued and irritated at myself for not posting in so long….so I’m going to end with this random photo of my daughter dressing up to go eat at Subway. Ha I love her!



Ever Kissed a Frog?


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Ahhh….this past week…..Tiring? Frustrating? Feeling like I have Father Time and Murphy’s Law sucking my time away while I’m not looking. The countdown to October 31st when I have to be moved….it’s coming folks. It’s coming too quickly. 25 more days of rushing around like a headless chook.

So what has happened this week?

Let’s take a stroll shall we?

Spent many days pulling this from all the walls so I could paint the flooring. Ughhh.


I was so excited that the next day I could finish painting Kilz on the floors….

But wait, what’s THIS??


Wet spots in. Every. Single. Room.

I’ve mentioned in a previous post that the last people who lived here were disgusting right? Well they lived without electricity…which means they lived without water too since the water pump from the cistern is electric. Which means the pipes busted some winter from no heat. Ugh the lovely surprises that no one tells you. But also we were foolish to not check under the trailer.

So since we had turned the water pump and electric back on the pipes are all leaking under the trailer and up into the plywood. I turned the water pump off and the next day the spots were pretty much dry. Since then, every day I’m out there, I’m without water until we my fiance has time to get under the trailer and fix the pipes. Murphy you bastard.

But we did get the floors primered finally! And I had awesome help with A and Y.


Lots of work was done yesterday.

We have 8 fruit trees, 2 now planted in the beginnings of our orchard.

Mom and I walked almost the entire property to discuss what trees we wanted to take out (a lot) and to mark the trash needing cleared in the high weeds that are everywhere. (Did I mention the previous tenants were trashy too??)

We started clearing one of the “tire patches”.


I ran into these unknown plants that two chickas in my Black Sheep Homestead FB group helped me identify (Thank you Amie and Lee!)

Horse nettle. Poisonous apparently. Looked like tomatoes to me!

Horse nettle. Poisonous apparently. Looked like tomatoes to me!

American pennyroyal. Very minty smell. Also poisonous but useful!

American pennyroyal. Very minty smell. Also poisonous but useful!

A learned to work a manual mower

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I tried hard to clean this gunky nasty thing from over the microwave. This is after I’ve worked on it a long time. Naaaaastaaaay.


We made the girls pick up walnuts…3 large Walnut trees are a plus. Now I just have to learn what the hell I’m doing with them?


Say hello to my little friend!!

Say hello to my little friend!!

Ever kissed a frog?


We also got some of the tall grass cleared but we had to get a mowing scythe bc there’s a bunch of junk then clear it out and go in with our trimmer/mower….which the pull cord broke yesterday….*BLARRRGHHHHH*

It’s been a dooozie of a week. 25 more days…..

Hell Froze Over Tonight….


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Hell froze over tonight….I made pork chops and mashed potatoes for dinner. The “mark your calendars for this momentous occasion” part was the fact that I didn’t make these boneless pork chops in the crockpot AND AND AND AND……I made the mashed potatoes from scratch.….It turned out okay. I made many mistakes….But we ate it D and I ate it while A complained bc she hates mashed potatoes apparently. She’s still complaining. I’m hiding in the bathroom while writing this and she keeps knocking on the door. “How many more biiiiiites? Why do I have to eat? Can I have a cupcake instead? WHY DO YOU HATE ME?” You know…normal kid diatribe. I think an hour on the toilet might be too much. I need to face the little demon mini-me soon.

Anyways, how are you? I am covered in Kilz Primer…I know you were dying to hear about my day weren’t you? Well we got a very late start. We had to go to Walmart….I HATE WALMART….They didn’t make D’s front door key right a few days ago. A key that doesn’t open the door it’s supposed to open….we don’t have time for that shit. We also had to go by my mother’s to pick up gates. We are installing a gate at some point near the beginning of the 1/4 mile long driveway. I hope not too close bc as it stands now we have to pretend we’re driving at the Grand Prix in order to get out of the driveway bc the gravel scoots about too much going up the little hill to the road. And then we started putting Kilz on the floors. But first we have to take ALL the carpet staples out of the flooring….This is taking FOREVAHHHH….I got impatient and Kilzed a  room or two after we got done with them. I have a very hard time not having variety in my tasks….I would suck as a factory worker.

I’m a very messy painter. I thought i was doing well since my jeans only have Kilz on the lower portions. My hands, on the other “hand” (hehehe),  look like I’ve been giving blow jobs to Powder or Pennywise the Clown.

Okay my butt is getting sore….time to go rejoin the clan in a rousing rendition of “Mommy can I??”

No pictures today bc my phone is a piece of shnitzel.

My Pictures Bring All The Boys To The Yard


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Close your eyes and imagine that the cattails are cleared away and the dock is no longer looking like a drunk slumped in an alleyway. Isn’t it a gorgeous view? I can see this from my front porch and think about what it WILL look like. That’s the fun part right??

We have lots of work to do. This trailer is niceish but the previous occupants were nasty. That’s all I can say. Lots of cleaning to do. We tore up the carpet and we are replacing it with the click style vinyl fake wood flooring. But FIRST we are putting a couple of coats of Kilz on the plywood because the cat smell….my gawd the cat smell…I have no desire for that to permeate through my flooring.

We’re starting on that tomorrow. We’ve spent the past 2-3 days cleaning out my mother’s storage building that she has rented for the past 10 years. It’s a long story but basically my younger sister was killed when the summer I turned 18. Since it occurred in the house, my mother and I couldn’t bear to live there anymore so we packed everything up and put it in storage. It’s been a psychological trip to have to go through it all, to say the very least. But I digress….

I can’t wait to get everything done. Let’s look at some poorly taken cell phone pics shall we?


This is the living room.

Obviously a place where food and refreshments are prepared.

Obviously a place where food and refreshments are prepared.

Tiny ass bedroom where I will cram the kids. I'm a terrible person.

Tiny ass bedroom where I will cram the kids. I’m a terrible person.

An absolutely not-thought-out-at-all picture of the master bedroom. I really should have taken this pic from the door. I'll try again tomorrow.

An absolutely not-thought-out-at-all picture of the master bedroom. I really should have taken this pic from the door. I’ll try again tomorrow.

An addition that was built on to the back. I will use this as a homeschool/playroom area. I really love the wood wall accents.

An addition that was built on to the back. I will use this as a homeschool/playroom area. I really love the wood wall accents.

This area is where the gardens and chickens will most likely go.

This area is where the gardens and chickens will most likely go.

View from front yard looking out our drive way. That tree smack dab in the middle will soon host a tire swing and a picnic table. Possibly a tree house too.

View from front yard looking out our drive way. That tree smack dab in the middle will soon host a tire swing and a picnic table. Possibly a tree house too.

Too many emotions have swirled in my head the past few days so I’m not feeling like being witty tonight.  This is probably a fortunate thing for you.

But before I put myself to bed read or play video games, let me share this funny picture of my daughter A wearing her helmet as a mask. Love this little girl so much.

A is my loving superhero monster thingy.

A is my loving superhero monster thingy.

Darby Smart


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I love this idea for a monthly homeschooling craft that actually would look good. Looking at the website, it looks like they send out a lot of good shit. AND apparently they have great customer service so that’s always a bonus right?? In a few months, I really want to start subscribing! Ugh…I’m all palpitated just thinking about it.

The Monthly Post

Darby Smart is a DIY craft subscription. For $19.00 a month, Darby Smartt will send you a kit with materials to craft a unique project. The projects vary from jewlery, to home and lifestyle items.

Darby Smart was so kind, and provided me a discounted box for my reviewing pleasure.


My chosen project was sent in a nice, turquoise box. Internet rehab inside!!

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This Is Not A Test….


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Where to begin? Well…..a long time ago a man and a woman came together….Fast forward 28-29 years and here I am. An inappropriate, foul mouthed homeschooling mother of one seven year old demonic angel girl that I will refer to as A. My boyfriend lives with us and will be along for the journey. We’ll call him D. His two kids are a girl (9) and a boy (6). We’ll call them Y and M. And me? I’m Candi and I’m about to embark on a journey of epic major proportions…..

See, my mother bought a farm last week…I will be renting it from her and taking care of her animals. I don’t really like animals. But we did get a cat almost two months ago and she has grown on me. So I might be succumbing to their foul smelling cuteness after all…Anywho…we’re starting work on the trailer and the land this week, in hopes of being out there by the end of October. We have a LOT of work to do…like a metric SHIT TON.  And then, after that, we will have tons of animals and a large garden, etc.

I promise I’ll get better at this. I’m going to take lots of pictures to distract you from my appalling lack of good grammar. Look! Over there! A shiny picture of a miniature Jersey cow…please pay no attention to the love of run on sentences!